I have been having that feeling again. It starts as a tightening in my stomach, then, it continues to spread to my chest...my heart beats faster and it almost feels like butterflies when I'm excited. I'm not talking about indigestion or an anxiety attack. I'm talking about an urging by the Holy Spirit. I feel it when I know God is telling me to say something to someone or to do something, basically when he wants me to obey Him. Am I alone in this? Maybe others feel called to do His will in other ways, who knows, but I finally have figured out what that deep call is...it's Him speaking to my soul.
What has been on my mind and heart lately is the grace of salvation. Something hasn't been sitting right with me lately. My eyes have been opened to, what I can only say, is a mass illusion of what salvation is. Yes, that is a real hard statement to make. Believe me, I have had many a conversations with God over this topic and I have searched the bible. I know that we are saved through repenting of our sins and accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior by saying the sinner's prayer. I have done so...many times. Now a flashback...
One of the first questions you are asked in a church setting or Christian event is...when did you come to know the Lord? I have to admit the question has always bothered me because I don't have "a day" or a powerful testimony of an instant of complete transformation that many have had. I have tried to pinpoint the day that the Lord came into my life, but I can't. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but I did go to church with friends or other family every now and then. I can tell you that I remember praying to God when I was very little and feeling like I was receiving a big hug from Him. I remember walking into church and feeling like I was home. It wasn't the building, because I went to different churches of different denominations, it was Jesus. And as a teen I still prayed to Him almost every night, and I kept saying the sinner's prayer every time I went to church with a friend. I never felt that I was saved. It's not that I didn't believe Jesus wanted to save me, maybe I didn't feel worthy. Every time I said it I would think, "Was that Holy enough?..Should I kneel?...Did I just cancel out the last time I said the prayer?.." I really wanted to be saved. Then life carried on. I never thought I was a bad teenager, but I was far from innocent. Actually, as an adult with a teenager of my own, I now think I would never have let my daughter hang out with me. I smoked cigarettes at 14, drank alcohol with my parents at 15..life was a party and I was fully enjoying it. I gave myself away before marriage to a person I didn't even really know. I was so lost, but I thought, "I must be covered though, because I said the prayer." You see, deep down I knew there was more to this whole salvation thing, that is why I kept repeating it over and over. I knew it wasn't just the prayer, there had to be more. I feel there are many out there now who are experiencing the same thing. They think they are saved because maybe they heard a great sermon and gave themselves to Jesus by saying the prayer, or maybe they grew up in church and they know about Jesus but then leave after Sunday service and don't include Jesus in their lives at all. Well, there IS more...
First of all let me strongly affirm that no one can earn salvation, it is a gift, no one can enter Heaven through his deeds or his by his own strength. We all fall short of the righteousness of God. "For it is by grace alone that you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is a gift from God-not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9). However, I believe we can receive the gift of God's grace in vain...like I did. I never understood the 'grace' part of salvation. I thought a person said the prayer and all was good..you were "right with the Lord" as is heard in many sermons. It is only through grace we are saved...God's grace is bestowed on us so that we have the desire and strength to obey Him. To obey means to do His will...which requires action. For "faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead" (James 2:17). I was reading "A Heart Ablaze" by John Bevere and he stated that "a professing believer who consistently disobeys God's Word has never truly received the grace of God, or he has received it in vain". I agree. I was that person. What made me different than an unbeliever? I said the prayer, yes, but I did nothing about it. Even as an adult I was still on the same path. Sure I went out to the bars, and yes, I liked to look good (I mean, c'mon, it's nice for you to still know you 'have it' by turning the opposite sex's head), but I went to church on Sunday (sometimes with bloodshot eyes from the night before..I mean, c'mon, going to church when you're hungover certainly means you're more pious than those who don't even go to church) and I was good person...I smiled, was polite, said my prayers at night and left big tips. What more can you ask for? Yup, no clue. I shake my head now, thanking God for His grace. What a patient and loving God we have. But all I can think is...what a waste! How much of my life was wasted on...nothing. I think what could have been if I would have received His grace and obeyed Him.
To believe is to obey. "We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus."(1 John 2:3-6). Do we wonder why so many outside of the church call Christians hypocrites? We proclaim we are Christians but we do not submit to God. What would have happened if when God told Abraham to leave his country, family and friends he responded, " I believe in you God, but now isn't a good time. Maybe some other time..." Or if he took Isaac and ran. But he didn't. He obeyed. "You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, 'Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness', and he was called God's friend" (James 2:21-23).
Being God's friend requires an intimacy. This is a deep knowing, so much more than the superficial relationships we have today with most people. This is not a Facebook-type of friend. This requires work, this requires surrender. We are to surrender our lives to Him. That means He should encompass every part of our lives. Which means we are to obey when called. The alternative is scary. "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord.' will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly 'I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers!' "(Matthew 7:21-23). Not everyone who says "I am a Christian" will be granted entrance into Heaven, but only those who obey the will of God. Hard to swallow? It is definitely not as nice as the cookie-cutter image of salvation that a lot of people believe. Scripture backs it up. In Revelation 3:16 Jesus is saying to the church of Laodicea that they are lukewarm in their faith "So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth". I found this profound and very much applicable to us today. John Bevere explained it the best: "Lukewarm has too much hot to be cold and too much cold to be hot. It has enough heat to blend in undetected with the hot and enough cool to slip in unnoticed with the cold. Lukewarm people become whoever they are around. Around true followers of Jesus, they can blend in with them. They know the scriptures, sing the songs, and say the right statements. Around followers of the world, they might not drink or smoke, but they think and conduct their lives in a worldly manner, that is, selfishly. They obey God when their obedience is pleasant or in their best interests. But they are motivated by their owns desires." Because these lukewarm people are not true believers, Jesus cannot take them into Him...he will vomit them out. John Bevere continues to explain that we vomit what the body cannot assimilate. Even though the lukewarm people may look like the hot people on the outside, inside they are corrupt. Just as a bad hamburger may look the same as a good hamburger...once the bad meat is eaten our stomachs cannot assimilate the bad meat and we subsequently vomit. Jesus even said "I know your deeds that you are neither cold nor hot, I wish you were either one or the other!"(Rev. 3:15) Why would he want us to be cold if not hot? Because cold people can be reached because they don't know God and don't claim to know God. Lukewarm people think they know God and are therefore harder to reach. God calls us all for a reason, so that we may glorify Him. How do we glorify Him if we do nothing for him? "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient" (Ephesians 2:1-3). Think on that. Jesus saved you from the enemy, he has broken the chains you were bound with only for you to, what...turn from Him by being disobedient? You have just spit into His face. Is that being grateful? Is that making Jesus your Lord and Savior? The word 'Lord' means supreme in authority, master. We are to be servants who serve the Lord. Being consistently disobedient is not what we do to our Master. Ephesians 2:8-10 states "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do." He has a plan for us which requires action from us. Yes, God is beautiful, merciful, good, kind, righteous, slow to anger, patient and much more. But I think a lot of people forget He is also The Creator of Heaven and Earth, God Most High, Ancient of Days, Supreme Judge, Master and we need to have reverence for Him. I think at times we forget who we are dealing with. God does not owe us anything..He created us, He created everything!
I know our lives are busy with day-to-day struggles and anxieties. God knows it too. Why do you think He called us? He wants to make a difference in our lives, but in order for that difference to be made we need to do what he tells us to do, even when it seems silly or even crazy. He has a reason for what He asks of you even if you never find out what that reason was on this side of eternity. It matters. You matter. I know I have felt called to do something and I have thought.."Maybe someday I might do that", or "They have enough help, I'm not really needed," or "somebody else will surely volunteer who is more qualified at that..." How many lost opportunities for being a partner with God? I could have made a difference in someone's life or someone could have made a difference in my life. Sometimes when we're called to do something it can be to our benefit, not always to others. We pray to be blessed, we pray to feel the Lord's presence...we want to feel Him, see Him..we call out to Him...Then when He speaks to us..we shut Him out. I get it. In our culture we are used to getting what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. That is why he gives us grace, because without it He knows we are too weak.
In Revelation 3:1-5, Jesus is speaking to the church in Sardis. And like all scripture that is God-breathed it speaks to us today: "I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you. Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy. He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels." In layman's terms: I know what you are doing! You profess you have Jesus in you, but you are wrong. Wake up to this reality and strengthen your faith before it's too late. You are not obeying God like you should be...remember what you have, don't waste it because you don't know when your life is over. There are some true Christians out there doing God's will and they will walk with Jesus. Those who turn from disobedience and overcomes the enemy will also walk with Jesus. Whoever overcomes He will enter Heaven. Jesus says He has not found their deeds complete in the sight of God. Being complete in God is by loving and obeying Him: "If anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him"(1 John 2:3-6). The last sentence is what startled me : "I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels" (Rev. 2:5). The book of Life is the book that contains a record of all those who accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and who will receive eternal life. So this one statement from Jesus means that he can and will erase your name from Heaven's roster if you consistently refuse to do His will. Wow. I missed that part when I first said the sinner's prayer. He means business. I know I feel disciplined. But then in Revelation 3:19 Jesus says "Those who I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent." This is a wake up call kids. It's not meant to make you depressed or angry. It's meant to bring you closer to Jesus. He wants to walk with us, but we keep shoving him away. If we keep shoving him to the side how long will it take for him to say "Okay, so you think you know what you're doing without my help..just try it". And then our faith fades until we are no different than those who never had him...oh ya, except that we still think we have him.
Let me conclude on a high note. If you love Jesus and strive to be as Christ-like as you can, he knows this. I'm not saying that because you didn't volunteer to be an usher on Sunday that God has had it with you and you're finished. No, he knows our weaknesses, as well as our strengths.If we start thinking like that then we are becoming legalistic and trying to earn our way into heaven, and we know that is not possible. If we are truly for God than nothing can be against us. "For I am convinced that neither angels or demons, neither present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).
What do you think? Let me know. I want to be one of the hot people..on fire for Jesus.There, I have said what I felt God has been wanting me to say...the burning in the chest is gone and I am content.
Lauralee
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing and very staggering truth. I know what you are saying and I agree; it is high time we stood up together as believers and proclaim our love for Jesus and God our creator: and put our works into action. There are so many people out there "sleeping at the wheel"; so to speak and I am one of them .It takes courage to admit to our weaknesses and be really honest with ourselves. How many are out there that need that fire lit under them? Yes I agree with all you have said and I have had similiar thoughts through my walk and am ashamed to say I need to get on board. There is so much I can say but the main thing is I have been wakened and feel renewed to begin taking responsibility for who I stand for and that is my God; and to strengthen my faith. Thank you Lauralee . You, as always, are inspiring to me and I am very sure to others as well. Thank you again for being open and honest.
Lauralee
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing and astounding truth. I agree with you and many times I have felt that way. I still am in awe of our Sovereign God. There are still times I wonder why I wasted so many years not reaching out...maybe I didn't feel I qualified to be saved.....or maybe I never thought I was good enough but I now know thats not true. Our God is a forgiving God. You are right when you state that faith without action is dead. I want to be hot and on fire for the Lord. I don't want to be mediocre. I want to be breathless with anticipation on His every word. . I want to be stirred up to boiling. His instruction book(the Bible) is not to be taken lightly but really get involve with it...to have the deepest relationship you could possibly ever desire. He is number one and should always be.
There are to many people that don't have that relationship. We need to stir the fire everywhere we go and in people. Thank you Lauralee , this is so inspiring and motivational. But most of all it is the deep wake-up call we all need.We are in the world but not of the world and we need to get that point across and we need to share that with everyone we meet. Ephesians 6:15 "and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace". That is what we need.